Cradle to Grave
by Le1a Naberr1e
Summary: A biography of Obi Wan Kenobi in drabbles. My response to the 100 drabble challenge at TFN.
1. beginnings

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**1, beginnings**

No persuasion was needed. It was an honour for their child to be chosen.

"It runs in our blood, you know," the Force-blind trader said pompously.

"He doesn't like loud noises," the mother added, struggling with the toddler in her arms that was reaching for his brother. "And he doesn't like to be cuddled for too long."

"Have you named him yet?" The Crèche master asked, looking down at the baby in her arms.

The couple exchanged looks, then smiled at the toddler.

"_We_ haven't," the mother said.

Owen removed his thumb from his mouth. "Go-bye, Obee," he garbled sadly.

**''**


	2. middles

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**2, middles**

Perhaps he should have protested more firmly against Anakin's assignment. But as always, the ability to contradict the Council – so intense when he was away from them – left him in their presence.

While Obi-Wan waited in the heat and daze of the Geonosis arena, hoping his death would not be in vain, his thought about Anakin and if his trials would be brought forward at his Master's passing. He deeply hoped not. The boy still had much to learn.

Seeing Anakin and the Senator ride so proudly into the arena was like seeing a living mirage of his worst nightmare.

**''**


	3. ends

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**3, ends**

The boy had grown in wisdom and stature, and no longer did Ben look into Luke's face and see Obi-Wan's old apprentice.

"Don't leave me, Ben."

Like his father, the boy was weakened by his attachments. The Skywalker fatal flaw. But Qui-Gon considered it a source of strength. Even Yoda had thought the same in the end.

But Ben wondered. He wondered and he worried.

Still, his time here was done. It was time for others to lift the cross he had carried all his life.

"Not the last of the old Jedi, Luke. The first of the new."

Dissolve.

**''**


	4. first

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**4, first**

Bruck's blade went for the jugular. There was a split-second when Obi-Wan's heart stopped beating and he thought, "I am dead."

Then instinct took over. His own lightsabre came up. Hard.

The momentum sent Bruck's deflected weapon over his shoulder, and down the abyss. He almost followed it, stopping only after he was poised perilously on the edge.

The evil gloat in Bruck's eyes had melted into fear.

"Obi-Wan, help me!"

Obi-Wan was already reaching for the other Padawan. But the use of his first name, the obvious play for sympathy made him pause for a split-second.

It was enough.

**''**


	5. last

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**5, last**

A usual cantina low-life. The art of manipulation worked easily on them. But there was already enough attention on Luke as it was.

Is that really the reason? Ben wondered as he felt the old handle heavy in his hand, the weightless blade flashing in glorious blue as he twirled it with familiar grace.

It was over quicker than he liked.

Luke's eyes shone with awe up at him. Then they looked down at the blood and the new death, and darkened with horror.

An innocent, Ben realized, shocked. Something he had never been, not even when he was Obi-Wan.

**''**


	6. hours

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**6, hours**

Thrust. Slash. Thrust. Slash.

Siri's eyes are heavy on me.

"Form Three is for wimps, Obi-Wan."

I take my time replying, focused on the kata.

Thrust. Slash.

"It is the standard form, proven effective in deflecting missiles and defensive combat."

"Defensive combat is the key word there, Obi-Wan. Pretty useless against another light-sabre."

I laugh, my concentration never wavering.

Thrust. Slash.

"Who am I going to duel with? Another Jedi? You, perhaps?"

Siri has never appreciated my sense of humour. After favouring me with her trademark narrow-eyed glare, she stomps off.

Hours of blessed serenity follow.

Thrust. Slash. Thrust. Slash.

**''**


	7. days

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**7, days**

Three days. Five at the most. Considering the galactic timelines perpetually crossed in inter-space flight, it is hard to be exact.

But I am certain that no more than five days lay between when I saw Anakin off on the Coruscant spaceport and when he stepped into the Geonosis arena.

Surely even my Padawan cannot have broken every sacred rule of the Jedi code in less than five days?

In the med-ship, I sit beside his sleeping form, and adjust the bacta-tube that has been placed over the stump.

For the first time in days, my Padawan sleeps without nightmares.

**''**


	8. weeks

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**8, weeks**

Beginning anew. I saw the mistrust in my Master's eyes. Knowing that I put it there only intensified my pain.

Siri's eyes were full of scorn. In varying degrees, I saw that look in the eyes of the other Padawans.

Master Yoda's moss-green orbs were the only ones that gave me comfort.

"Pass, shall this, too."

Weeks later, the affair of Lorian Nod occurred, and working together, my Master and I were reconciled in spirit as well as words.

My betrayal of Qui-Gon at Melida/Daan became a distant memory to all of us.

Except the Force.

The Force never forgets.

**''**


	9. months

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**9, months**

We both mourned. 

Myself for my Master, my mentor, my friend; my old sheltered life as a Padawan.

(Freedom.)

He for his mother; his imagined connection to Queen Amidala; his life as a slave in the Hutts cartel.

(Freedom.)

Months after Qui-Gon's death, mourning ends.

"You and I will have to learn to trust each other," I tell him.

He nods eagerly.

So eager to please, to not get in the way. It is not difficult to see the charm, to be won by it.

I take no pleasure that in the end, his adoration comes to me, not Qui-Gon.

**''**


	10. years

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**10, years**

When I finish the trek to the cantina, I am faint with exhaustion.

(My body was trained and used for super-human physical activity for almost four decades. There were times when I had been on several locations light-years apart in the space of one standard day.)

It is a squalid, dingy watering hole, walls and furniture as dull as dishwasher. Its lights and colours almost blind me.

(I have been to places too exotic for words.)

No parleying with the barkeeper for a second drink tonight. It requires more charisma than I own.

(Years ago, they called me the Negotiator.)

**''**


	11. red

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**11, red**

"Why always red?" Garen asked. "Why carry a weapon that will always give them away to their enemies? Rather stupid."

Obi-Wan fought back the urge to roll his eyes.

Siri did not. "Then you might ask why the Jedi always carry blue or green lightsabres! Doesn't that give us away to the Sith?"

"Didn't," Obi-Wan said sharply.

They both started at his tone.

"_Didn't_ that give us away to the Sith?" He corrected more gently.

After a while, they continued the discussion. A little later, he drifted away. There were more gainful things to do than argue about ancient history.

**''**


	12. grey

_Thanks so much to **AnnJinn** for your feedback! I hope you continue to enjoy these..._**

* * *

**

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**12, grey**

Obi-Wan nearly cut himself shaving when he saw it. 

What an unpleasant way to start the day. Despite his earnest efforts at acceptance and serenity, his mind kept wondering to the nasty find.

"What do you think, Master Kenobi?"

He started from his envious contemplation of Mace Windu's bald pate to see the man watching him worriedly.

"Are you all right?"

"The war takes its toll on all of us," Obi-Wan said sincerely, stroking his beard soberly and surreptitiously smoothening down the errant grey strand.

The Council nodded in grave agreement.

Despairingly, Obi-Wan hoped that Anakin would be as oblivious.

**''**


	13. white

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**13, white**

"There?"

"It's as good a place as any to begin, and you need to speak to Luke."

"But it's so cold…"

"You'll hardly feel it."

"Hardly?"

"Enough excuses, Padawan."

Ben sighed. Even now, Qui-Gon played the role of encouraging but stern Master better than Obi-Wan had done with Anakin.

The journey was not into the Force – since he was already a part of it – but out. The whiteness of infinity coalesced around him. Qui-Gon's presence receded.

The resistance of solid ground beneath his feet

_(feet!) _

was a shock, and his eyes

_(eyes!)_

flew open to the cold beauty of Hoth. 

**''**


	14. black

_Thanks so much to **AnnJinn** for your feedback! I hope you continue to enjoy these..._**

* * *

**

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**14, black**

"No."

"But Master…"

"Don't 'but, Master' me. You know the Order's colour code."

"Browns. All shades of brown."

"That doesn't look brown to me. It looks black."

"It's not that much darker than Master Windu's…"

"I promise you, my very, very young apprentice: when you sit on the Council, you may wear whatever you please."

"But- "

"End of discussion, Padawan."

There was silence for a moment. Obi-Wan concentrated on working on his report, trying to ignore the faces Anakin was surely making behind his back.

"It's not fair!"

Obi-Wan threw down his pen in defeat.

Anything but whining! 

**''**


	15. blue

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**15, blue**

"I look like a girl!"

"Padawan, calm down."

"But I do!" He tugged at his laces.

"You look like aristocracy."

Anakin eyed his lace-free Master enviously. "Why can't I be the Comtesse's elder brother?"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

Just then, their 'sister' descended the stairs.

The Comtesse wore a shimmering blue that matched her eyes and followed the lines of her body faithfully.

Very faithfully.

Both males fell into reverent silence.

"One word…" Siri hissed.

Anakin nodded automatically, eyes wide.

Obi-Wan swallowed his concerns about the impracticalness of her outfit. He tried not to wonder where she hid her lightsabre.

**''**


	16. friends

******Cradle to Grave**

**''**

16, friends

Obi-Wan hadn't realized until that moment how sheltered his life was. Hehad Qui-Gon now; but before, there were teachers,his crèche master…

These children were notjust without Elders, they stood against their Elders.

Obi-Wan hadn't realized how much he was isolated from the world outside the Temple,from other peers.

Watching Nield and Cerasi as they planned, feeling the enthusiasm in their young, passionate auras, he felt a hollowness inside that he had never realized was there.

Then Cerasi looked over at him, green eyes warm. "What do you think, Obi-Wan?" she asked.

The hollowness began to close.

**''**


	17. enemies

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**17, **enemies

"Nield distrusts me," he whispered furiously to Cerasi as they marched. _After all I've done. All I turned my back on…_

She shrugged. "Nield doesn't trust easily. You came as a Jedi, remember? You're technically a stranger."

Nield called from the front and she hurried to join him.

Obi-Wan marched alone.

_You came a Jedi…_

Qui-Gon had tried to convince Obi-Wan that his newfound goal was a transitory phase…

"Come back to the Temple," Qui-Gon said, offering Obi-Wan his hand.

Obi-Wan replied by drawing his sabre.

_You're technically a stranger._

"I understand," he said bitterly to the empty air.

**''**


	18. lovers

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

18, lovers

Cerasi ran towards him with high held fists, green eyes blazing.

"We won, Obi-Wan! We won!"

He grinned back wildly and caught her, and they spun round and round.

At last, they came to a stop. He felt the furious pounding of her heart against his chest, her breath, soft and hot, against his cheek.

"You bring good luck, Obi-Wan Kenobi," she whispered and kissed him.

Then she sped off to share her vibrant joy with the others.

Long after he had forgotten how she looked, how she sounded, he remembered that first kiss, quick and smooth against his cheek.

**''**

* * *

_**author's note**: Before I'm shot! Cerasi and Obi-Wan were **not **sexual lovers nor am I implying that are... But I used the key word very loosely here. And sometimes it's the smaller 'firsts'- first kiss, first crush - that one prefers to remember. _


	19. family

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**19, **family

Obi-Wan thought he had found a family with the Young. He thought he had found understanding, found a shared purpose.

The animosity of Nield and the other children after Cerasi's death taught him that he was mistaken.

Family didn't turn their backs on you.

He returned to the Jedi Temple, he felt the disapproving stares of his peers as acutely as vibro-arrows in his back.

Family forgave. Again and again and again.

"I will never let you down again, Master," he swore and he strived to be better, to work harder.

And Qui-Gon wondered why Obi-Wan still did not understand.

**''**


	20. strangers

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**20, strangers**

_…We meet… _

When given the mission, Obi-Wan had not bothered refusing. His one request was that he go alone.

At first glance, Obi-Wan neither recognized Melida/Daan's terrain nor the dark-haired, imposing man that received him on his arrival.

"Senator Nield," he said at last, bowing.

The Senator replied with equal formality. "Master Kenobi, thank you for agreeing to supervise this contract…"

The business negotiations went without a hitch. On his return, Obi-Wan gave his report to the Council and saw satisfaction in their eyes.

Later, he meditated on his past, and the erasing effect of time on life.

_…to part._

**''**


	21. smell

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**21, smell**

The scent of my mother's perfume… the oils in my father's beard… Owen's toddler essence when he pressed his face close to mine…

For a long time, they lingered. They must have.

Surely, the Jedi crèche must have 'smelt' different to my tiny nostrils. The anti-septic smell of regularly cleaned walls must have contrasted sharply with the cocktail of talc and perfumed talisman of my old nursery. The strange smell of so many different creatures must have been alien to me, used as I was to being around only humans.

I forgot those smells in time. We all do, eventually.

**''**


	22. sound

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**22, sound**

Try as I may, I could not hear anything.

"Silence, young one. Close your ears. Open your mind."

Dutifully, I placed my hands over my ears, and even shut my eyes for good measure.

The muted sound of laughter filtered through and I opened my eyes to his smiling wrinkled face.

"Master Yoda, what am I doing wrong?" I asked plaintively.

Kindly, he reached for my hands and the sounds of the training room filled my head. I sighed.

"Try too hard, you do. No need to. When silent and at peace, you are, the Force will speak to you."

**''**


	23. touch

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**23, touch**

Crèche duty never came naturally to me. The crèche-lings were loud, moody and completely spontaneous. The Force always behaved erratically around them, and although my Master and later my Padawan revelled in such profusion of the Living Force, more often than not, it only served to frazzle my nerves.

My truculent charge glared up at me as I desperately sent it soothing Force waves.

"Pick it up, Obi-Wan!"

I jumped in horror and stared pleadingly – and unavailingly – at the beady eyes of the crèche master.

Sighing deeply, I did as I was told. The child's edginess progressed to full-scale bawling.

**''**


	24. taste

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**24, taste**

"It's his medicine. He's sick, maybe even dying and he needs it to stay alive!" On that last note, Bruck's voice rose in a dramatic howl.

Terror filed the faces of most of the other younglings.

"Don't be stupid," Siri snapped. "He's old, not dying but his mouth nerves have died so he needs to eat that really foul gruel to taste anything."

I had been silent up until then, but that was outrageous! "Master Yoda's not dying, nor sick, nor old!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!" And with her fist, she drove her point home in my nose.

**''**


	25. sight

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**25, sight**

It was like stepping into a waterfall of light, a road made of every colour of the rainbow and beyond… and I was walking on it.

Until that moment, I had been blind, thwarted by the limitations of my physical senses… But now I transcended the mundane, the ordinary world of three dimensions … I had stepped into something larger.

Of course at the time, I couldn't really explain this with such coherency.

When I opened my eyes from my first meditation to stare into Yoda's twinkling eyes, and he asked: "How feel you?"

All I could say was: "Wow!"

**''**


	26. breakfast

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**26, breakfast**

They left the Temple before dawn. First meal was a quick snack in the transport ship. Obi-Wan ate little. He was too excited about the high-profile mission. 

"Master Qui-Gon, may I ask a question?"

His Master grinned. "You may ask. I may not answer."

Obi-Wan grinned back. "If your source is right and a plot does exist to assassinate the Royal Family, shouldn't we inform the Royal Guard, security detail…?"

"It is better to confirm first. We don't want to start a panic," Qui-Gon said quietly.

Obi-Wan was still pondering that when the transport ship landed in the Alderaan spaceport.

**''**


	27. lunch

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**27, lunch**

The two Jedi read the local holo-news as they sat on the park bench, waiting for their contact.

"The King and Queen are away on a diplomatic visit to the Southern Worlds." Obi-Wan looked up just in time to see a trolley filled with bright sweets, passing by. He sighed. "It's been a while, Master."

"There's no cause for alarm," Qui-Gon said easily. "Koda has many talents, but punctuality is not one of them. Busy your mind with the possible motives to assassinate Princess Breha, beloved of her people or Prince Besan, her younger brother."

Obi-Wan's stomach grumbled _its_ alarm. 

**''**


	28. dinner

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**28, dinner**

The Prince passed the serving tray of succulent fruits to Obi-Wan. "Are our parents safe?" 

"Hopefully," Qui-Gon said diplomatically. "The plot seems closer to home."

Princess Breha gave her brother a reproachful look as she filled his glass. "Can we not talk about assassination plots at the dinner table?"

Besan glared at her and didn't drink. Obi-Wan reached for the wine jug only for his Master to place it out of his reach.

The meal ended quickly. The Jedi stood as the two Royals departed in separate directions.

"Come, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said mysteriously, his footsteps quickening after the departing Princess.

**''**


	29. food

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**29, food**

The Princess and her handmaidens turned at their approach.

"Lord Jedi?" She asked with polite confusion.

Qui-Gon bowed. "Milady, I will ask you to do something unusual. Please don't delay with questions." He quickly produced a generic purgative from his utility belt. "Eat this."

Breha and her handmaidens stared.

"Your life depends on it!"

Still dubious, she complied.

Later, a medic confirmed that the purgative saved her from the fatal effects of a rare food poisoning.

"Did you suspect, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked gravely.

Obi-Wan was still in shock. "I sensed a little sibling resentment. Nothing strong enough to warrant…"

"…murder."

**''**


	30. drink

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**30, drink**

"Poison in the wine. You did not plan on killing my Padawan," Qui-Gon's eyes glinted angrily, "and myself but it would not have stopped you. Most likely, a handmaiden would have been blamed. "

Prince Besan's hands were shaking. "Why would I kill my sister?"

"She is older, bossy and heir."

"You cannot prove it!"

"Maybe I can't. But if any harm were to come to Princess Breha…" Qui-Gon let the words trail dangerously.

There was a pause, as the Prince swallowed. Then he stalked away.

It would be a very long time before Obi-Wan overcame his phobia of wine. 

**''**


	31. water

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**31, water**

A strange world, this Naboo. With its quarreling species, child Queen, water core… 

One of Jar Jar's ears slap me and my contemplative thoughts cease.

"Stay still," I say through gritted teeth. It takes all my Jedi calm and self-mastery not to chuck this hurtling pole of clumsiness through the cockpit and into the sea.

I sneak a guilty glance at my Master, afraid that he has picked up on my uncharitable thoughts, but his thoughts are elsewhere. There is a gentle smile on his face as he stares out at the untamed life-forms staring back through the transpariteel barrier.

**''**


	32. fire

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**32, fire**

It would be a mercy to kill him. 

There is no place for life on Mustaphar. It is a planet of metal and mechanical minds, not for flesh and bone and skin.

I watch my apprentice burn, the black robes I have always disliked smoldering, then flaring into life like a torch.

It would be a mercy to kill him.

As I bend to pick the lightsabre, I keep a wary eye on him. His eyes glare back at me. They are smoking too, red with hate… with pain.

It would be a mercy to kill him.

I walk away.

**''**


	33. earth

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**33, earth**

The caves of Utapau are cool against my water-soaked skin, and I cling against their walls, quieting my breath until it is virtually inaudible as I listen to my soldiers plot to assassinate me. 

Why? How can this be happening?

Cody gave me my lightsabre. Would a man give a weapon to someone he planned to kill?

I hold it now, and its familiar shape gives me strength.

My clones… the clones are moving. I press against the wall, drawing strongly on the Force for the skill of persuasion.

When they pass me, all they see is a grainy wall.

**''**


	34. air

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**34, air**

I have no idea where the brilliant idea to switch off the droid came from. Probably from Anakin. As I freefall through the levels of Coruscant, my heart all but giving away in my prematurely aging body, I battle with the droid controls, while holding on for dear life and cursing us both.

Perhaps Anakin decided to obey our mandate and not leave the Senator's side.

Finally, I turn it back on and gravity is thwarted for the moment. The air slaps my face and I grimace in reply.

I have never been so grateful to feel Anakin's presence nearby. 

**''**


	35. spirit

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**35, spirit**

A leap of faith. 

I have never lacked faith in the Force, my guide and my companion for as long as I can remember.

Nor have I ever lacked faith in Master Yoda, the Master that was once to me as ageless and infallible as the Force itself.

Faith in my own Master came after his death and even then…

But none of those are needed now. What I need is faith in myself.

I leap.

I don't see the boy. I feel him – a bright beacon in the Force. The one that will save us all.

"Run, Luke. Run."

**''**


	36. broken

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**36, broken**

"Looks like it's only you and me, friend." 

The red Arfour bleeped a sad reply and vainly attempted to move towards me, almost toppling over in the process.

"Wait!" I said sharply and it halted. "One wrong step and you'd be scrap metal like the rest of your brethren."

Limping across the minefield, and the over the parts of droids and clones, I finally reached the droid and I realized why it was immobile. Its rollers had been shattered by a mine.

What a sad pair we made.

I pat it gently. My sole remaining companion. "Let's go home, friend."

**''**


	37. fixed

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**37, fixed**

The day he was released from the infirmary, Anakin visited me with the Arfour unit.

Friendly neon lights flashed at me.

"Hello, friend," I replied, happier than I would have thought. "I see someone has been taking care of you. A fresh coat of paint? I'm envious!"

Anakin laughed. "The medics found some for me. They said that working on him helped me recover faster. Thanks, Master. How's your leg?"

"I'll soon be back in the field," was my reply.

The same cloud that passed over his face, passed over my heart. Another battle. Another massacre.

The never-ending war continued. 

**''**


	38. light

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**38, light**

In the beginning, it had been so simple. The Separatists were controlled by greedy, bullying corporate alliances. I had seen firsthand what the Trade Federation armies had done to Naboo. The idea of such might unleashed unchecked on the galaxy was the stuff of nightmares.

In the beginning, it had been so simple. The leader of the Separatists Army was Count Dooku, a Sith Lord, a traitor to the Jedi and all that was goodness and light. We all knew the stories of the old Sith Empire. The idea of such despotism rising to power was… unthinkable.

In the beginning. 

**''**

Thanks **Live Fast Die Never**! Your encouragement is invaluable!


	39. dark

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**39, dark**

In the end, it hadn't been so simple. 

The Jedi were never meant to be soldiers.

No single race should ever be enslaved.

The end never justified the means.

How did we forget these simple fundamental tenets of the Code that we had all been borne and bred to uphold and adhere to?

Was it always the nascent Dark Side leaching into our hearts, poisoning our souls, our wisdom?

Or was it the other way around? Were we the ones that allowed it to grow through our arrogance and lack of compassion?

Were we our own enemy, in the end?

**''**


	40. shattered

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**40, shattered**

The little Artoo droid reminds me so much of the one I was one found on a battlefield… in another lifetime.

Even the young man that watches me with such eager restlessness reminds me of another one I found… also on a kind of battlefield… also in another lifetime.

Only this one does not follow me into battle.

But the Imperials will be looking for this unit. I feel the deaths of the Lars and I wait for this young man to shatter like his father.

Are we doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past over and over again? 

**''**


	41. rebirth

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**41, rebirth**

When Qui-Gon died on Naboo, the old Holy Man that had officiated the cremation spoke of life after death. He had called it 'Ben-oni'.

Perhaps even then, Obi-Wan had already chosen the name.

Obi-Wan had died twice in his life. The first was after his Master had left him, and his life as a Padawan had ended with blood and tears. The second was after his Padawan had left him, and his life as a Master had ended with ashes.

Ben the Jedi – Jedi only in the most fundamental definition of the word – had never died.

That was another story.

**''**


	42. scars

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**42, scars** (_To make better sense, this chapter actually should be read after **43, disease**)_

The illness passed and left in its wake the marks Luke would carry for the rest of his life. Old Ben could not complain but Owen Lars was a different matter.

"He almost died," the father in all but blood roared.

Beru was silent. She neither protested but defended. Old Ben stared at the sand.

"What use are you exactly?" Owen wanted to know.

So did old Ben. He asked the Force the same question every day.

Later, old Ben looked down at Luke Skywalker's scarred face and touched it for the last time in a long time.

"Good bye."

**''**


	43. disease

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**43, disease **(_To make better sense, this chapter actually should be read before **42, scars**)_

The hours in the crèche had been punishment to Obi-Wan the boy. Now old Ben wished that that far-minded lad had paid more attention to the basic requirements of the infants and less to his dreams. The cure for Luke's infliction was something elemental... something that was just on the fringes of old Ben's memory... something that Obi-Wan's apprentice with his love for all things new and young would have recalled instantly…

But that way lay madness.

Old Ben could only stare hopelessly into Beru Lars's despairing eyes. Stare hopelessly in Luke's pain-filled ones.

And pray for the Force's mercy.

**''**


	44. agony

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**44, agony**

He had caught the plague from the boy. It brought a coldness that the Tatooine suns could not vanquish; a thirst that three jars of water could not quench. Harsh punishments but he could have survived those.

It was the dreams that were his undoing.

Dreams in which Obi-Wan was already dead – smoking ashes in the lava pits of Mustaphar. His apprentice broken and healed, weeping over his corpse. His death the sacrifice that could have saved something – someone greater.

_"What use are you exactly?"_

With the voice of Owen Lars, old, dying Ben thought he heard the Force speak.

**''**


	45. healing

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**45, healing**

The farmstead that was hewn with Beru Lars's sweet wit, Owen Lars's gruff kindness, and running everywhere like a bright thread in the tapestry, Luke Skywalker's adolescent energy… was gone.

"There is nothing more for you here."

The despair in young Skywalker's face was as familiar as a borrowed memory. Neither Obi-Wan nor Ben had ever seen it in his father's face but…

…perhaps they should have.

Ben started walking away, confident that Luke would follow.

The Imperials had left nothing for young Skywalker but a ruin, two corpses and rage-tinted memories.

And for old Ben, they had left purpose.

**''**


	46. bell

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_36-40 are "possible" AU drabbles..._

**46, bell**

The bells of mourning resonated beneath Obi-Wan's skin. He made the pilgrimage to the tower because he had struggled for days in vain to give his emotions to the Force. 

Perhaps there, he might find a sense of peace that would persuade them to leave him.

He did not find his peace. He found something else. At the base of the tower, pulling on the rope was Asajj Ventress, her distinctive skull hidden beneath a cowl, but her even more distinctive aura a clarion call in the Force.

At once, his hand flew to his weapon. She laughed and vanished.

**''**


	47. book

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_36-40 are "possible" AU drabbles..._

**47, book**

The hieroglyphs on the ancient tome were beautiful and fearful, spelling out a destiny that his heart rejected but his mind understood would be inevitable. 

"Why look into the future when you already know what you'll find?"

Obi-Wan snapped the tome shut, stared bleakly into the face of his tormentor.

"I do not fear the future."

Asajj's darkly beautiful face twisted into a smile. "You only fear your role in it – or rather, lack of a role."

"You speak of what you do not know."

"I know more than you know – of yourself."

And of course, she vanished again.

**''**


	48. candle

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_36-40 are "possible" AU drabbles..._

**48, candle**

A place to mourn lost ones. They had promised Obi-Wan privacy.

What was an honourable being's promise to Asajj Ventress?

"Why do you come?" he asked – pleaded.

"For the same reason you do," she said almost kindly. The flame she lighted flickered in her face, making her eyes luminous… enchanting. "To bury my dead."

"The dead cannot bury the dead."

"Ah, that's where you are wrong. We are the only ones allowed to. You, on the other hand, must live."

His hand shook as he lighted his own candle and she laughed softly.

"That, Obi-Wan, is your burden to bear." 

**''**


	49. bowl

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_36-40 are "possible" AU drabbles..._

**49, bowl**

"Thank you," he whispered politely to the serving girl.

He lifted the bowl to drink and saw Asajj's face reflected in it, a single eyebrow raised.

Carefully, he placed it on the table.

"Why do you not drink, my Jedi?" Asajj asked, laughter in her voice. "Is blood no longer to your taste?"

"I understand what you are doing-"

"Do you?"

"-and I promise you: I will not be driven mad."

Her laughter was so loud that others must have heard it – should have heard it – had it existed outside his mind.

"You have been mad all your life, Obi-Wan." 

**''**


	50. blade

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_36-40 are "possible" AU drabbles..._

**50, blade**

He had never meant to kill her.

There had been a moment when he had his blade to her throat that he had seen surrender in her eyes.

The moment had passed, and she had given him no choice.

"There was always a choice," Asajj whispered.

It was later on that Obi-Wan realized he had killed two people that day.

"But you knew, didn't you? You knew it in your heart. That was why you searched for me so obsessively. You would never have let the child live."

The last statement was a lie.

It had to be a lie. 

**''**


	51. dawn

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_Dark Obi AU._

**51, dawn**

They meet at dawn, the old traitor and the young, their hooded faces shielded from even the barest glimpse of light. 

"Did you find the child?"

"He sleeps in my quarters at this very moment."

The old traitor smiles. "Excellent. How do you plan on doing it?"

"Nothing too complicated. A soft pillow pressed against his nostrils. I have been told that it is extremely painful."

Both of them laugh. "It would be the last sleep of his life," the young one promised.

"Our old Master would beside himself with grief. Be sure to comfort him for me, won't you?"

**''**


	52. morning

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_Dark Obi AU._

**52, morning**

The old Master wakes to the unexpected sight of his student holding a thick pillow over the sleeping little boy. For a moment, the impossible crosses the Master's mind and his hand goes at once to the weapon on his belt.

Then the student lifts the boy's head and places the pillow gently.

The Master is ashamed. "Padawan," he calls.

"Master, I didn't want to wake you."

"You didn't. The day has already begun and you have ushered it in with an act of kindness."

The student blushes at the praise, and silently curses his Master for a light-sleeping fool. 

**''**


	53. noon

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_Dark Obi AU._

**53, noon**

"Failures are unacceptable."

The unnatural lightning arcs and the noon-day sun seems to shimmer around the wilting body of the treacherous Padawan.

"Please…" he whispers. "Please… another chance…"

But the other is un-relentless; only when the Padawan can no longer summon the energy for speech does the assault cease.

"My Master grows impatient and he takes it out on me. I should never have relied on you."

"He will die… t-today." Painful gasps. "Everything's… p-planned."

"So you said before."

"I will not fail. I promise you."

"I hope not for your sake. My Master is less forgiving than I am." 

**''**


	54. dusk

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_Dark Obi AU._

**54, dusk**

"It's almost night-time…"

"It's dusk, child. And you asked me to teach you."

"Okay… Are you Okay, sir?"

"Get in the water. Of course, I am."

"You smell different."

"It's rude to talk about people's smells. Dip your head in."

"I want to go back."

"In a moment, child."

"I want to go back now!"

"Fine!"

"Sir… You're hurting me, sir."

"I don't want you to slip and fall."

"I--- Sir!--- P-please--- No! St---"

"Don't struggle, child. This is part of the lesson."

Help! Help!

"Breathe in, child."

Bubbles floating to the surface.

"That's it, child. Breathe in deep." 

**''**


	55. evening

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

_Dark Obi AU._

**55, evening**

"This is he."

Stepped forward, the Padawan fell to his knees before the Sith.

"You have done well," the old man intoned.

The Padawan started.

The Sith smiled. "Surprised? Here, praises are not held back. Here a Master would never turn over his student for a younger, more talented model."

The Padawan trembled and blushed, his deepest secrets revealed so effortlessly.

The Sith laughed. "He is not yet used to our powers, Xanatos. But he will soon. He has great potential."

He gave the Padawan his hand. After a brief hesitation, the Padawan took it. Rose.

"Welcome to the Dark Side, Obi-Wan Kenobi." 

**''**


	56. good

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**56, good**

It was a simple enough trick, curling one's fingers into the shapes for compulsion. Obi-Wan learnt the art quickly and practiced only as often as he was supposed to. 

Still the temptation to use it in a sparring match with Siri had been irresistible.

With inspired viciousness, she proceeded to trounce him thoroughly.

"It only works on the weak mind, _nerf_!" she declared and emphasized her rage with a forceful shove.

Afterwards, he rubbed his shoulder and looked shamefacedly at Master Qui-Gon's twinkling eyes.

"Master," Obi-Wan began.

"Don't worry, Padwan. We all learnt it the hard way," Qui-Gon said, laughing.

**''**


	57. evil

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**57, evil**

Obi-Wan was halfway across the room before he came to his senses.

"Anakin!" he cried, his voice mixed with shock--- and horror.

The boy said petulantly, "It wasn't nice, was it?"

"It's been used by the Jedi for generations," Obi-Wan said automatically, while his mind was still processing the fact that his Padawan could--- had---.

"Then they've been wrong for generations! To… twist anyone's mind like that is wrong. It's slavery, only worse."

"That's enough, Padawan!"

There was a strained pause. Finally, Obi-Wan said, "Perhaps mind-tricking is not for everyone."

It was hard to tell who was more relieved. 

**''**


	58. dream

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**58, dream**

"It was only a nightmare, Padawan."

"N-no, it was a good dream."

"Do you think it was a vision?"

"What? Master, can I have visions?"

"You are strong in the Unifying Force, Obi-Wan. Your ability to see into the future is powerful and will usually bleed into your subconscious-ness."

"Wow."

"So what did you dream about?"

"A mission… somewhere. We save a Queen."

"That's good to know. So how?"

"How what?"

"How do we find the Queen?"

"I don't know, Master. Just that we do."

"I see. So I guess we'll still have to live the future, won't we, Obi-Wan?" 

**''**


	59. nightmare

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**59, nightmare**

"Another one?"

"Yes, Master."

"They need to stop."

"I try…"

"Drink this. It should make it easier to sleep now."

"Thank you. I'm sorry for waking your."

"You miss your Mother."

"I know."

"Padawan, you must learn to let go of your old life. You can't keep looking back."

"I know… I… I just wish I could know if she was OK."

"And if she's not? Won't that be another cause for worry? For nightmares?"

"I suppose so…"

"Go back to sleep, Anakin."

"Master?"

"Am I having… visions?"

"No, my young Padawan. Just bad dreams and they'll pass in time." 

**''**


	60. truth

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**60, truth**

"The Negotiator strikes again." 

Obi-Wan looked up as Anakin approached, a strange expression on the younger Knight's face.

"Jealous?" Obi-Wan asked, only half-joking.

"Surprisingly… no. Just concerned about you, for once. A little persuasion here, a little persuasion there…"

"What are you saying?" Obi-Wan asked sharply.

"As you know, I've never liked that particular art... but even if I did, I wouldn't be too comfortable with the way-"

"I have no idea of what you're talking about."

Anakin looked at him skeptically. "You don't?"

"No, I don't."

Anakin snorted. "I see. Don't worry, Negotiator, your secret is safe with me."

**''**


	61. kiss

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**61, kiss**

His lips are cool, clinical. They are not particularly unskilled. Some innate instinct, honed perhaps by his Force, enables them to give me pleasure. 

It is a strange thing, to be in such an intimate embrace and feel so... alone.

"Curiosity satisfied?" He asks afterwards.

I study him. His eyes are filled with calm, respect, a little curiosity. That is all. No passion. Not even contempt.

"Yes, I am satisfied" I admit, "and sorry. I have great pity for you, Jedi Kenobi."

A man is not supposed to feel more passion for a book of laws than a beautiful woman.

**''**


	62. hug

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**62, hug**

His arms go around me awkwardly, bony limbs and joints. Hugging is for sissy little girls but I bet not even Amee would have liked to be hugged by Master Obi-Wan.

I think it's a Jedi thing. Master Qui-Gon hugged me and Mom but he's the only one I've seen do so. Except Master Obi-Wan who hugs me as if he was never taught how.

I bear it because I can tell that he's trying to... reach out to me or something, and I don't want to not reach back.

But I'm really, really glad when he lets me go.

**''**


	63. smile

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**63, smile**

I adjust his grip on the blade and smile at him encouragingly.

He replies with a frown, his brow furrowing with concentration.

It is remarkable, I decide. The boy's facial muscles seem incapable of displaying joy. Yoda hinted that it's usual in a Padawan selected as old as Obi-Wan. They're over-eager to please and somewhere down the road, they pick up that a perpetually serious expression is a thing to be proud of.

Despite myself, my eyes crinkle with mischief as I realize something. Between his seriousness and my playfulness, I may have found a perfect apprentice in Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

**''**


	64. frown

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**64, frown**

Easily does the young one's face fall into serious thought. A serious-minded Jedi indeed Obi-Wan is.

"Kenobi will make an excellent addition to the Council," Ki-Adi announces.

"The Council will benefit much from Master Kenobi's wisdom, perceptiveness and conservatism," Mace declares.

"In this trying times, we need serious-minded Jedi who are loyal to the Code, the traditions, the old methods of doing things," Stass affirms.

"The Council will profit immensely with him," Mace concludes firmly.

Against all these, dispute I cannot. True, benefit from Obi-Wan the Council will.

But...

Benefit from the Council, will young Obi-Wan?

That know not I. 

**''**


	65. laugh

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**65, laugh**

"Goodness, Obi-Wan, lighten up!"

He frowns at me. Or just stares. It's hard to tell the difference. "I have lightened up."

I roll my eyes. "Smile! Laugh! We're kids. I may be fighting a war against my parents but I still know how to laugh at life."

And I can see his face struggling briefly with effort before he gives up.

"Life isn't meant to be funny," he says seriously.

It's a funny statement, but it's also sad.

"For Jedi, maybe," I say gently. "But for everyone else, we need to find the humour in it or we'll go mad." 

**''**


	66. sun

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**66, sun**

The first time I saw Coruscant Prime, I could not believe that that tiny body was the life-provider of the trillions of beings that lived in the Republic's Capital World.

Later, I discovered that artificially constructed orbital mirrors enabled the sun's light to sustain human life. At the time, I only made my Master laugh.

"Size is of no consequence, Padawan. Do you forget Master Yoda?"

Years later, he argued with less humour when I disputed the possibility that a small child could be the Son of the Force.

Master Qui-Gon should have just explained to me about the mirrors. 

**''**


	67. moon

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**67, moon**

The accursed Asajj and Durge escaped and not before they had done their best to decimate every living thing on Ohma D'un.

Gungans. Naboo humans. Clones. Jedi. We waded through them as if through slough. The moon was littered with corpses.

At a time, my Padawan fell to his knees, retching.

I grabbed his shoulder. "Anakin, get up."

"Master… I can't… I can't…" He was weeping.

Roughly, I forced him to his feet. "Get up."

He struggled, cursing me; but in the end, he followed me.

We were Jedi on a mission. We did not have the luxury of grief.

**''**


	68. stars

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**68, stars**

The first time they saw stars, I was with them although they would never remember. It was on Polis Massa, after the long virgil beside their mother, watching her fight for their lives the way she refused to fight for her own.

Later, I stood before the observation bay with them in my arms; together, we watched stars that had died light years ago.

Almost two decades later, I beheld them side-by-side for the second and the last time on the Emperor's Death Star.

And I stepped into the Force knowing that these stars will shine for a long time. 

**''**


	69. clouds

**Cradle to Grave**

**69, clouds**

Flight training was every Initiate's favourite lesson and in this I was the exception. The Flight Instructor thought I just needed encouragement. My peers thought I just needed teasing.

Matters came to a head on the day I took my first solo flight.

There were clouds. I remember that much. They cluttered around my small craft, blurred the glass and I panicked and forgot how to ease out of them.

My next memory was lying in the infirmary, my mouth filled with bacta.

"Fifty stitches!" Garen crowed with glee.

"It's lucky that your head is so thick, Thud-Wan," Siri decided. 


	70. planet

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**70, planet**

The quest to find the informer took us further down the city levels than I had ever been to. Further down that I'd ever wanted to be.

I felt voracious eyes follow us.

"Nervous, Padawan?" My master asked.

I started shaking my head – then nodded.

"Good. You should be. Take this excursion as a lesson in superficiality. There is more to Coruscant beneath the flashy, glittery sights and sounds of the upper levels. This is the planet at its core."

And what a rotten core, filthy beyond what could be seen or heard or smelt. Filthy to its very soul. 

**''**


	71. indifferent

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**A/N: 71-75 is part of an AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**71, indifferent**

The sound of the bell interrupted the shopkeeper's nap. The new customers were an odd-looking trio – an old man who prowled with leonine grace, his restless younger companion and a dark woman with pampered skin.

Bored, the man informed them that they could not purchase the Nubian hyperdrive

without proper currency.

"Credits will do fine," the old man insisted, waving his hand for the third time.

The merchant stifled back a yawn. "Do you think you're some sort of Jedi or something? Mind tricks don't work on me, only money!"

Frustrated, the trio shuffled out of Kenobi's Knick-Knack Kiosk.

**''**


	72. exhausted

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

**A/N: 71-75 is part of an AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

72, exhausted

Padmé rested against the wall, her eyes shut and her breath shallow. A film of dust coated her pale skin.

"She's alright," Qui-Gon said, catching Anakin's worried gaze. "It's just the heat." He didn't look so good himself. In fact of the three, Anakin seemed unaffected by the binary suns' extreme blaze.

"What do we do now?" Anakin gestured towards the revolving 'OPEN/CLOSE' sign on Kenobi's Knick-Knack Kiosk. It seemed to be mocking them. "That's the only store that has what we need."

"We will be patient," Qui-Gon said but Anakin knew his Master well enough to read his anxiety.

**''**


	73. hopeful

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 71-75 is part of an AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**73, hopeful**

Qui-Gon permitted his Padawan to remain behind while he escorted the Queen back to the ship. Anakin wandered Anchorhead, taking in the sights, listening in on gossip, but somehow always ending back at Kenobi's Kiosk…

Mid-afternoon, he spied a shifty-looking Toydarain entering the shop. A few minutes and some shouting later, it shuffled out, muttering curses.

With intense concentration, the Jedi could make out a few words:

"Pah! Slaves as good as credits… The Hutts will teach him… He'll see…"

Eventually the creature drifted out of earshot.

But Anakin had heard enough. With a grim smile, he entered Kenobi's Kiosk.

''

_Thanks **rocketscientist**, **Live Fast Die Never**, **TriGemini**, **Gandalf -Dumbledore -Obi-Wan **and **Verity Kindle** for the kind reviews._

_Sorry for the slow updates but for some reason this week isn't 'flowing' as they usually are. Hopefully, I'll complete the last 2 in the set tomorrow._


	74. relaxed

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 71-75 is part of an AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**74, relaxed**

With a few lucrative transactions and Wattoo's groveling, Kenobi had had a good day in the shop. He was not in the least ruffled by the stranger's information.

"And why should I believe you? What do you know about the Hutts, Outlander?"

"I have ears. They told me that you're unpopular with them because of your stance on slaving. They'll use any excuse to come down on you and this Toydarian may just give them one."

"I suppose you're offering your protection in exchange for your hyperdrive?"

The other nodded and Kenobi laughed.

"Kid, my people don't scare that easy."

''

_Thanks **rocketscientist**, **Live Fast Die Never**, **TriGemini**,and **Gandalf -Dumbledore -Obi-Wan ** for the kind reviews._

_I'm glad that some of you seem to be enjoying the daily updates! Every cloud... And to **Gandalf**, no, I still have 26 drabbles to go so it will be a while before this is completed. _


	75. restless

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 71-75 is part of an AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**75, restless**

Night had long fallen in the Merchant's Quarters. In one house, supper sat cold and untouched on the table.

Its sole occupant was wearing the sandy floor thin with pacing.

_Where are you, Kenobi? _

No-one had seen him since he closed the store, walking away with a strange man.

A visit to the bar? But he had never returned this late. A distraction, perhaps? Her lips tightened in anger then she dismissed the thought.

An… ambush?

The last glow-lamp went off with a sharp hiss and she jumped. Swearing, she re-lit it, shaking so badly that she nearly burnt herself.

''


	76. happy

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**76, happy**

Happiness for Obi-Wan was time in the Temple between missions, the longer the better. Qui-Gon had drawn this conclusion with amusement and surprise. It was a strange contrast to his own time as a Padawan, eager to the point of impatience for every assignment and its opportunity to meet new places and people.

"It's not just his friends, although he's very fond of Garen and Bant," Qui-Gon confided in Tahl. "It's something less specific, more to do with the Temple itself than the people who inhabit it, more to do with the Jedi as a whole than a specific few."

''


	77. gloomy

**Cradle to Grave**

**''**

77, gloomy

Happiness for Anakin was time away from the Temple on assignments, the longer the assignment the better. Obi-Wan had drawn this conclusion with disapproval and alarm. It was a disquieting contrast to this own time as a Padawan, content to remain in their home on Coruscant, refreshing his soul with the meditation and counsel that only the Temple could offer.

"Tru Veld is away on missions just as often. Perhaps if he made other friends, he won't be so filled with wander-lust, so gloomy between assignments" Obi-Wan confided in Yoda.

Old Yoda, an even stronger Unifying Force Jedi, agreed completely.

**''**


	78. stressed

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**78, stressed**

Tahl was not a little amused at Qui-Gon's increasing irritation over the Corellian puzzle box.

"Three-year old Selonians can solve this blindfolded," she remarked soothingly.

"That's because they 'see' better with their ears anyway," he grumbled.

Obi-Wan frowned. "Master, you're doing it all wrong."

Qui-Gon glared. "Care to have a go?"

The Padawan solved it in five minutes flat.

There was no helping it. Tahl's laughter escaped her at the sight of Qui-Gon's incredulous face, and Obi-Wan's gradually concerned one.

"Master?" He said worriedly and Qui-Gon smiled ruefully.

"At least you're not three-years old or I'd never live this down."

''


	79. content

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**79, content**

"That will keep him busy for a while," Obi-Wan remarked to himself.

Satisfied, he watched as his twelve-year old Padawan retired into the corner, his hands prodding at the advanced Selonian puzzle cube that Obi-Wan had acquired for just this purpose.

The mission on Corellia had been even more stressful than Obi-Wan had expected and all he wanted now was peace and silence, to meditate, to renew – which an occupied Anakin might finally, finally grant him.

He closed his eyes for a full minute of contented silence and snapped it open at once.

"Done! Bored again."

Obi-Wan struggled against tears.

''


	80. cranky

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**80, cranky**

"Are you sick, Master?"

Obi-Wan tried not to roll his eyes. They hurt too much. "No, Padawan. I'm just sleeping in the Healing Wards to get away from your constant chattering."

"I do not chatter," Anakin corrected firmly, his eyes clouding with something like hurt, then clearing so quickly Obi-Wan was sure he had imagined it. "And I thought Jedi don't get sick."

"My antibodies must have missed that memo," Obi-Wan retorted.

This time the flash of hurt was unmistakable.

"Padawan…"

But Anakin had already left.

Obi-Wan sighed with irritation. Really, the boy was too sensitive for his own good!

''


	81. nothing

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**81, nothing**

"I don't know…" Obi-Wan tried again, struggled, failed. "I don't know why this is happening!"

_But you do, don't you? _

"Maybe it's a temporary thing?" Cerasi said soothingly. "Has it ever happened before?"

"N -no," he stammered.

Nield snorted.

Desperately, Obi-Wan 'reached' for the small blaster again, but it simply lay there. Mocking him.

Panic was like a black cloud of Nothing in his mind.

"I can't touch the Force! I can't! It won't let me!"

"Obi-Wan," Cerasi began and he pulled away from her. She didn't understand. No one did.

_But you don't need the Force anymore, do you?_

''


	82. everything

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**82, everything**

"The Force is like swimming."

Obi-Wan's look said, 'Blasphemy!' and Bant laughed.

"Don't be such a prude, Obi-Wan. I'm just trying to describe it to you. It's like…" Her face became dreamy. "It's like when I'm in the water, I become the water. I see what the water sees; I touch what the water touches. I'm everything and everything is me."

He frowned. "It still doesn't sound quite right…"

Bant flapped her fins impatiently. "You have no sense of poetry," she complained.

With extreme dignity, he drew himself up to his full ten-year-old height. "I'm a Jedi, not a poet."

''


	83. now

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**83, now**

"He's too infatuated to consider the prohibition of a relationship with the Senator!"

"And your Padawan is too valuable to the Order to risk losing him. If he does form a mutual attachment with Senator Amidala, I believe the Council can be persuaded to support him."

"Well, I won't persuade them."

"Obi-Wan!"

"He's a Jedi, a servant of the Force. Does he really think he can risk that for an ordinary existence?"

"Isn't that Anakin's decision to make?"

"Not while I'm his Master."

"Anakin won't thank you for this."

"Not now, yes. But believe me, Siri, someday he will understand."

''


	84. forever

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**84, forever**

Beru came because she cared enough of the boy to know that she was not enough.

"He no longer breaks things in his sleep," she said happily.

Ben swallowed his resentment. "At his age, I had mastered the fundamental of telekinesis. It's dangerous for someone that powerful to go untrained."

"Owen…"

Ben tuned her out. He knew Owen's problem. Owen believed that Luke Skywalker, a child destined to be a great Jedi could live as an ordinary farmer. He believed Luke could be cheated out of his destiny, forever.

_You would have done the same with his father, won't you? _

''

_Thanks **r0ck3tsci3ntist**! Boy, that was fast! Not that I'm complaining. :) _


	85. fate

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**85, fate**

That day the shield Ben Kenobi had maintained effortlessly for years had trembled with strain and he had gone to find the boy.

Luke's Skyhopper cut its crazy locus through Beggar's Canyon. The Force was strong in the boy, singing with joy as it flowed freely, without restraint, without the rigid mental discipline of a lifetime of training.

_A waterfall without a dam_. _An endless ocean. _

And Ben remained in the shadows, watching out for dragon and Tuskens.

Watching the Force run free and unrestrained, filling everything it touched with colour, as it was always meant to in a Skywalker.

''


	86. eyes

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**86, eyes**

The fist comes flying out of nowhere.

It is a scant three seconds but I have ample time to reflect that that is not part of the Luudo formation; we have not rehearsed this!

Then stars explode in my face and I am flying across the training room, landing painfully on my tailbone.

The laughter burns my ears.

"Sorry about that, Oafy-Wan," Bruck's voice says. My sight clears sufficiently to see his hand stretching out to me. His eyes are smirking down at me.

I smile and take his help. "No problem at all." And I blacken both his eyes.

''

_Thanks very much **TriGemini**, **Ann Jinn**, **Live Fast Die Never**, and **Fialleril** for all your kind and thoughtful reviews!_


	87. nose

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**87, nose**

I am not sure how badly he injured me but I know from the way each breath is agony, that it is grave. I feel blood bubbling in my lungs. My nose is a painful lump of nerves.

"Don't be afraid," Qui-Gon Jinn whispers.

It is such a comfort that he is near. The ionite mines are pitch-black but I can see him clearly in the Force, more clearly than I have ever seen another Jedi.

"Who was that man?" I whisper back.

He is silent. For a moment, I fear that I have offended him.

Then he sighs. "Xanatos."

''


	88. ears

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**88, ears**

"The Geonosians were very fond of this tool. Something to do with their extremely sensitive auditory nerves."

Asajj waves her new toy at me, her rapt audience. I have little choice in my viewing pleasure as I happen to be suspended in a Force-bind, half-weak from regular torture.

But the show must go on.

I honestly cannot fathom why I scream. A sonic explosion cannot penetrate the sound of tiny muscles exploding in my ears.

Finally, she smiles and it ends.

As always, I am honor-bound to give my critical opinion.

"It is a vast improvement over your incessant monologue."

''


	89. throat

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**89, throat**

I have never seen anything like it. The tattoos. The horns. The leer of promised pain.

I thought I knew what it was to be hated – by Bruck. By Xanatos.

I was wrong.

The Sith's hate is like nothing I have ever felt in my life.

When it is over, I rest against the pillar, and perversely, my throat aches with thirst. I am dried out. There is no water left within me to weep.

My Master's lifeless body are my spoils.

My enemy lies at the bottom of the abyss but I am not sure who is the victor.

''


	90. skin

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**90, skin**

The first Sith I encountered killed my Master.

The last…

I know now that I never really knew what it was to be hated.

This enemy does not hate me because I am his rival or his replacement or the perverted image of her betrayers.

This enemy does not even hate me because I am a Jedi.

I am Obi-Wan Kenobi.

That is all the reason he needs.

The image of flesh curling from bone like a macabre blossoming remains with me till now.

I never ask myself if I hate the Sith who killed my friend.

I dare not.

''


	91. one

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 91-95 is part two of the AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**91, one**

As it turned out, Kenobi ended up trusting the teenaged Jedi very quickly.

He had turned into a deserted path, the boy had on his heels and still arguing, when four goons had appeared from nowhere.

"We have a message from Jabba."

"Oh really?" Kenobi retorted, hiding his relief. A 'message' meant a good beating, not an assassination. And he would pay Wattoo back later…

The goons closed in. Before Kenobi could shout a warning, the boy moved.

It was almost too fast to see. In one minute flat, Jabba's finest were eating sand, down and out of the counting.

''

_Thank you _**_TriGemini_** _for all your kind reviews!_


	92. three

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 91-95 is part two of the AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**92, three**

The Nubian was filled with Outlander militia. With a crowd like that, Kenobi wondered why they hadn't seized the hyper-drive from him by Force. Sure, they were Jedi – that much he had picked up after Anakin's display, but still… 

"The deal is simple," he told Jedi Qui-Gon, Anakin and the Handmaiden Padmé. "My people and I need a safe haven for a few years. Just somewhere to keep our heads low. You provide that and I give you your parts."

"What do you mean by 'provide that' exactly?"

"Just the basic essentials: Shelter, food and clothing. All free, of course."

''


	93. five

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 91-95 is part two of the AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**93, five**

The Handmaiden's initial objections to his demands were overruled after a private consultation with her party.

The old Jedi accompanied Kenobi home to get his people. They were not accosted; probably those goons had not reported back to Jabba.

Asa was irate for some reason but soon calmed down once Kenobi explained the circumstances to her and went to gather everyone. She and Qui-Gon were to lead them to the ship.

"And the hyperdrive?" The Jedi demanded.

"I'll get it," Kenobi promised. "But first I need to get to Mos Eisley and see someone."

Five very important someones – his family.

''


	94. seven

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 91-95 is part two of the AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**94, seven**

"You're running away," Owen said, with exactly the same expression in voice and face as their father.

Kenobi bristled. "I'm protecting my people, my family and my friends."

"And your shop?"

"I'm getting seven times its worth of these Outlanders."

"You're a damn fool to trust them."

The parting with Beru and the three children was a great deal warmer. She made him promise to communicate – somehow and at last, Kenobi drove off in his skyhopper feeling his brother's disapproving eyes boring into his back. He passed a sandcrawler where unknown to him, a bounty hunter was lying in wait.

''


	95. nine

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**A/N: 91-95 is part two of the AU set with Obi-Wan as a shop-keeper on Tatooine. **

**95, nine**

Asa entertained them with stories of her partner.

"He's lived on Tatooine since he was nine. The Lars moved around a lot. His father traded in the Outer Rim until his mother died in childbirth. His father had a little farm down here so he decided to 'retire' here. I think he was just cut up over his wife's death."

"Master Qui-Gon said that he's…" the boy hesitated.

"Force-sensitive?" Asa said dryly and laughed at his face. "We realized that twenty years too late. If his family had lived closer to the Core, Kenobi Lars would have another life entirely."

''


	96. a light in the dark

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**96, a light in the dark**

"Yes, he is young, but he is also wise, dispassionate, the utter opposite of his Master."

"Indeed, apart from that forgivable obtuseness over Skywalker's training, he's never had cause to go against the Council."

"He lives the life and ideal of a Jedi to the full. Service with dignity. Compassion with impartiality."

"In these time of War when young Jedi turn against the Order or worse, abandon it, Obi-Wan has become a light in the dark for the rest of us, a beacon of hope that after all this Confusion, the Order go back to what it has always been."

''

_Thank you **TriGemini**, __**Live Fast Die Never**__, **Ann Jinn** and __**Fialleril**__for all your kind reviews!_


	97. steer by the stars

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**97, steer by the stars**

"Co-ordinates."

"Beep---beepbeep---beep."

"Thanks."

"Beep."

"You know, I get it. He says doesn't like flying because he doesn't trust machines. He prefers things that are alive and can share the thrill and risks with him."

"Beep---beep."

"Well, do you know what I think? I think he likes things that are alive only when he can manipulate them – tame beasts, weak minds. It's why he's frightened of wild beasts – he can't control them."

"Wheep!"

"Nor droids, of course. And for someone who likes living things so much, he doesn't have much use for people who aren't Jedi, does he?"

''


	98. shake the heavens

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**98, shake the heavens**

"Well, who would have ever believed this could happen, all those years in the Clan together? Obi-Wan defying the Jedi Order to train a nine-year-old, possible Chosen One of the Force?"

"We don't know that he is the Chosen One…"

"I know, but that's not the point. Obi-Wan stood up the Council! Actually told them he'd leave the Order over Qui-Gon's ward. Or so I heard."

"I heard that he even refused help in training the boy. Said he'd manage just fine, thank you very much."

"It's incredible. Obi-Wan Kenobi – a radical?"

"We never knew he had it in him."

''


	99. beneath these hands

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**99, ****beneath these hands**

"Watch out for him."

"Who? The big, black guy with the no-nonsense face?"

"Not him. He won't be sticking around for long."

"Who then?"

"That guy."

"Red-, no brown-, no, the non-descriptive guy?"

"Yes, him. Watch out for him. They say he doesn't give quarter. Kills like a droid, only better."

"Some Jedi."

"The best kind of Jedi. Their kind are not like us – they don't try to uphold some sort of moral code of life. They are the freaking moral code of conduct and they'd cut anyone down who doesn't pass their reckoning."

"I'd like to see him t''


	100. the path and the walker

**Cradle to Grave**

''

**100, the path and the walker**

In my lifetime, I was many things to many people.

Son for a brief moment in time, so brief that now I am eternal, I can blink and miss it.

Then ward of the Temple and Fledging Jedi.

Reject.

Student. Friend. Maybe – if I had let it – another son.

Diplomat. Killer.

Orphan. Avenger. Sith-Killer.

Jedi Knight.

Master. Brother. Mentor. Maybe ---- father.

Negotiator. Rival. Soldier. Warrior.

Friend.

Councilor. Hero.

Dupe.

Enemy.

Fugitive. Guardian.

Outcast.

Failure.

Mentor. Relic.

Manipulator.

Martyr.

Looking back at the journey of my life, I know if given the chance, I will do it all over again.

''

_**author's final notes: **_

_I didn't think I would ever say this but I've finished **10,000 words** of Obi-Wan Kenobi-centric stories:O _

_To everyone who's ever dropped by to give feedback on Ann Jinn , **funyun**, **Gandalf -Dumbledore -Obi-Wan a.k.a. someone**, **imprincess1**, **jim**, **Live Fast Die Never**, **Padakin**, **QueenMeep**, **r0ck3tsci3ntist**, **TriGemini**, and **Verity Kindle**__, thank you so much! I couldn't have made it without you. :)_


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